Intricate Beauty and Soulful Heritage: A Glimpse of Gurratul Masajid

In Islam, mosques hold a special place in the hearts of believers. According to Prophet Muhammad, they are among the most beloved places on Earth in the eyes of Allah. They are the sacred places that radiate divine love and offer refuge to spiritual seekers.

In Mumbai, the Gurratul Masajid, also known as Saifee Masjid, stands as a stunning testament to this deep devotion. This majestic masjid stands as the epitome of Dawoodi Bohra’s history, culture, and spiritual heritage. For decades, it has been the seat of countless revered Duat Mutlaqeen, spiritual leaders and stands restored, unwavering in its legacy! Tears well up in my eyes whenever I listen to the stories of my community’s elders weave tales of its history, their words resonating deep within my soul.

Standing beneath the spellbinding artistry of Gurratul Masajid, I felt a profound connection to its legacy. Couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sheer beauty—the intricate latticework, captivating carvings, and overall architectural splendor that make the Gurratul Masajid in Mumbai an irresistible marvel. The masjid’s mesmerizing details draw you in, leaving you awestruck by its timeless elegance and artistry.

A Legacy Of Devotion:

The masjid was originally constructed by His Holiness Syedna Taher Saifuddin Aqa R.A. (51st Dai’l Mutlaq) in the  Bhendi Bazaar area of Mumbai in 1926. His successor, His Holiness Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin aqa RA had a vision of restoring the masjid and uniting the masjid with the Raudat Tahera his father’s tomb, creating a seamless space for prayer and reflection.

Ten years after the demise of Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin RA, his aspiration to see Saifee Masjid merged with Raudat Tahera stands realized. His successor, His Holiness Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin Aqa TUS reconstructed it preserving the design and the architectural elements. The vision became a reality and showcased the unwavering commitment of the Dawoodi Bohra community to preserving their heritage.

The architectural style of Gurratul Masajid reflects the harmonious blend of Indian, Islamic, and classical influences, symbolizing the community’s openness and inclusivity. It stands as a beacon of unity, drawing people together in shared faith and devotion, and is a living testament to the Dawoodi Bohra community’s resilience, and artistic brilliance. Its doors are open to all who seek spiritual solace and a glimpse into this vibrant cultural heritage.

Countless blessings and spiritual grace are said to be showered upon those who visit this sacred space, making it a source of peace and inspiration for the community.

Standing beneath the spellbinding artistry of Gurratul Masajid, words falter. To truly grasp its grandeur, its history, and its soul, is to transcend language itself.

It has been a humbling experience for me and has left me filled with awe, appreciation, and gratitude.

Shukranlillah Alhamdolillah!

Ghanu jeevo Moula Mufaddal!

Ghanu jeevo Moula Mufaddal!

Autism does not come with a manual, it comes with an adult who Never Gives Up!

A newborn baby is like a miracle of perfection, a bundle of joy, that overwhelms us with love, and gives us a feeling that we have met our reason to live. Our baby like other babies is born with 10 fingers and 10 toes, cries when hungry, and sleeps regularly. Grows from an infant to a toddler, learns to speak, learns the alphabet, learns to hold the spoon, sits, walks, crawls, smiles when you smile, imitates you, hugs you, and so on and so forth, and these behaviors continue to stay for 2 or 3 years. 

However, one out of every fifty, what happens?  

You notice the child exhibiting unusual behaviors, like not responding to his name, stops smiling, stops interacting, avoids eye contact, repeats words or phrases over and over, getting easily disturbed by some lights, sound, or touch, being emotionally detached, gets rigid with routines, and many many more such irregular behaviors. You see a bubble start growing around him and you find that the child is slowly creeping into a shell. You are shattered, heartbroken, vulnerable, and baffled. It isn’t easy to see that someone you love is having a serious developmental condition. You immediately consult your primary caregiver or your pediatrician. After a couple of rounds with doctors and experts, the baby is diagnosed with autism, a condition maybe you have never heard of before. 

This could leave you with a question, “Why Me and Why my Baby”?

A similar story happened with Mrs. Fatima sheikh from Mumbai. Her son Usaid was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of three and a half years. It was her first encounter with the reality of accepting the fact that her child has autism. It was very hard for the parents to realize that their child is having a lifelong condition that is going to limit his socialization and also his ability to succeed in life.

But then what helped them was to not look at it as a PROBLEM but as a SITUATION. When you start seeing problems as situations, you start thinking in terms of possibilities. It then becomes easy to find a solution to every situation that comes up in life.

Mrs. Fatima Sheikh did exactly that, she took hold of the situation, and to give her 100%, she decided to quit her career immediately. She took the steering wheel in her hands and was all set to help Usaid live with his challenge and come to par with the world. She started to learn from therapists and professionals, and she started exploring, understanding and reading.

She never burdened her autistic son with any aspirations for him. She would set a distant goal but never looked beyond the next milestone. With total belief in his competency, she always allowed him to take the lead in whatever he loved doing and was happy with it, be it music, performing arts, or visual arts. She says that she got full support from her husband, friends, and her close family, and this collective effort and support from close family and friends made life easier for them. Relatives who were nasty about Usiads diagnosis were kept away from Usaid. 

To help him grow and develop, they tried all programs and supports, including speech therapy, occupational therapy, music, swimming, drumming, dance, and even lots of outdoor and sports activities.  Usaid was exposed to every opportunity, and if they found him interested in any activity, the mother would immediately knock door to find a suitable mentor to train him for it. 

After a lot of experimenting, they decided to specifically work on his strengths and weaknesses. His special interest in arts was detected when at the age of 4, Usaid faced difficulty communicating with words and he instead communicated with them by drawing and sketching in stick figures of what happened in school, at home, and on outings. So they started using art to communicate with him and entered his world. Gradually Usaid started responding, opening up, and started connecting with them. 

Usaid showed a love for music and they hired a good music teacher. This de-stressed Usaid and increased his sitting tolerance and focus. 

When his passion for dance got noticed, he got all the training required for it. Usaid performed on stage for Shiamak Davar’s winter funk in 2016 and that was transformational for Usaid, a big leap in his self-confidence. They saw him as a completely changed person who came alive on stage, and the overload of light, sound, and chaos did not bother him at all. Dancing improved his resilience, self-regulation, planning, and executive functions. He happily traveled long distances for practice, for shows, and on stage, like any other normal person, he  knew his entry, exit, and his position, and moreover took cues from his group and remained totally coordinated with them. Every show is a new exposure and experience for him!

A few of the proud moments for Usaids parents are:

When he scored a 91% in his 10th board, and it was covered in the Times of India. 

When he was appointed as a junior editor for Mccann world group in Mumbai, after 6 months of internship with them. 

When he gave a presentation at Stanford neurodiversity Summit in 2021 on his experience at the workplace. 

A proud student of the Shiamak Davar Dance Company.

Amazing, isn’t it? Even a normal child sometimes fails to get so many achievements in life. Credit goes to the parents who walked their son to success with Love and Patience. 

Mrs Fatima sheikh says that if we wish to connect with an autistic child, enter into the bubble formed around him, and when he is ready help bring him out into this world. She says, give your autistic child an opportunity to prove himself by believing in him, by accepting him with his neurodiversity. 

So next time when we see a person with a difference, we should not forget that he may have difficulty expressing himself, but he has the same emotions and aspirations as all of us.  Let us all pledge to accept them with their specialties with open arms, and help them live their life with dignity and confidence.

For

MARHAM INDIA

Download

The Dawoodi Bohra Community’s Journey To Faith And Knowledge: Al-Istifada al-Ilmiyya 1445

Embracing an educational journey at the age of 60+ or 70+ years, sitting in classrooms, and learning despite perceived limitations like age, health, and mobility, is indeed a profoundly significant endeavor. It underscores the timeless truth that it’s never too late to pursue knowledge and personal growth.
Al-Istifada al-Ilmiyya is a shining example that attests to this fact.

Al-Istifada al-Ilmiyya, which translates to “quest for knowledge”, has become an enriching and integral chapter in the lives of us, the Dawoodi Bohra community. Central to “Istifada Ilmiyya” is the unwavering commitment to the study of religious texts, scriptures, exact sciences, Islamic history, and Islamic jurisprudence. This pursuit is diligently led by the esteemed scholars of Qasar Mubarak of 53rd Dai Al Mutlaq Syedna Mufaddal Aqa TUS and the accomplished professors of Aljamea-tus-Saifiyah.
Aljamea-tus-Saifiyah is a world-class educational institution and academy, uniquely dedicated to religious and academic excellence. It is the cornerstone of our community’s educational aspirations and has a distinguished history of producing high-caliber graduates.
How is “Al-Istifada al-Ilmiya” woven into our lives?
Dawoodi Bohra community highly values knowledge, and Istifada Ilmiyah’s core belief emphasizes the importance of seeking knowledge.
The community members are continuously encouraged to engage in lifelong learning. This includes a comprehensive understanding of our faith and a wide range of subjects that contribute to personal growth, ethical development, and professional success.
Amirul Mumineen, Maulana Ali bin Abi Talib’s AS kalaam:
“Indeed the completion of faith lies in seeking knowledge and acting in accordance with it”.
These profound words align perfectly with the principles of Istifada Ilmiyah, where the participants are encouraged to extend their learnings to practical application. In doing so, we are expected to apply our knowledge to lead righteous lives, emphasizing virtues, ethics, and compassion. This harmonious connection highlights that seeking knowledge is not an end in itself; it’s the integration of that knowledge into our actions that truly fulfills our faith and enriches our lives.
How did senior citizens enrich their lives?
Through Embraced Learning, Community, and Spiritual Resilience.
As the members come together in study groups a strong sense of community is nurtured, leading to community engagement and involvement, which holds great significance for the overall well-being of senior citizens. It leads to physical and mental stimulation, provides opportunities for social interaction, deepens spiritual connection, and leads to spiritual fulfillment. It fosters a sense of inner peace, contentment, and a stronger bond with their faith. The learnings that we collect from here offer comfort and support during challenging times, fostering emotional resilience and helping us cope with life’s difficulties.

The size of the crowd was immense comprising men and women of various age groups, and coordinating this vast assembly presented the monumental task of planning and logistics, executed with an unwavering dedication to achieve perfection in every aspect.
We started the journey with Raza and Doa mubarak of our Dai Al Mutlaq Syedna Mufaddal Aqa TUS, and once granted we started registering for the event. The registration process was streamlined and accessible to all. Depending on our level of the texts, we were divided into different asbaaq groups and were allotted venues that had seating arrangements ensuring comfort, appropriate lighting, and visibility for all.
There were adequate venues for food serving so that waiting times were minimized. We were consistently assisted by volunteers from the @bgi.international (the global leading genomics organization) and other khidmat guzars, who helped with crowd control, sharing information, and even logistics.
Medical teams and first-aid stations were on-site to address any health-related issues that may arise.
There was no communication gap when it came to conveying information; it was done through webinars, emails, and WhatsApp groups.
Istifada Ilmiya 1445 aimed for a zero-waste event, so participants were encouraged to bring their own shoe bags and water bottles. After each meal, the volunteers of @nazafat.central(who work for the promotion and awareness of civil hygiene, cleanliness, and urban greenery) guided each one of us to sort and segregate the waste. The event materials were then sent for recycling or composting. To maintain sustainability, the plastic bottles were collected and recycled for reuse. There was an everyday evaluation of the event, collecting feedback to identify areas of improvement.
This is just a glimpse and a fraction of the vast blessings that we received during this event. In summary, “Istifada Ilmiyah” has become a cherished and integral aspect of the lives of the Dawoodi Bohras. Under the thanda saaya of our Moula TUS we shape our identities, nurture our faith, and foster a strong sense of community.
Syedna’s blessings upon us are innumerable, and our gratitude is immeasurable. We are but humble grains of sand under his jooti, often missing opportunities to expend ourselves in his khidmat and serve him wholeheartedly.
Nevertheless, recognizing our insignificance, we fervently pray to Allah Subhanahu, with sajadat and unwavering devotion, to solemnly commit to living by the farmaan of Moula Tus.
May Allah Grant our beloved Moula Al Hayyul Muqaddas Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin (RA) Afzal ul jazaa and we beseech Allah to bestow a long and prosperous life upon our Ali Qadar Moula, Sydena Mufaddal Saifuddin Tus, until the Day of Qayamat. Ameen!
Until Next Year!!

The Dawoodi Bohra Community’s Journey To Faith And Knowledge:  Al-Istifada al-Ilmiyya 1445

The Everlasting Love Story: A Journey To You

In the heart of a bustling city, there lived a young woman named INAYA. As the name suggests, she was known far and wide for being kind, caring, and compassionate. People counted on her for a helping hand or a listening ear. Her heart was a sanctuary for others, a place where troubles found solace.

Inaya took care of herself diligently. She nourished her body with wholesome foods, relished in the colors and textures of nature’s bounty and embraced movement. She tried finding solace in the rhythm of her breath. Yet, despite her efforts to tend to her physical well-being, there was a crucial element missing. For all the love and care she gave, she had never learned to love herself. Her heart was a garden of vibrant flowers, but she had forgotten to water her own. In the quiet moments of reflection, Inaya couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness that settled within her. The mirror reflected a stranger, a girl weighed down by the burdens she carried for others.

It was as if the universe had forgotten to mirror back the same tenderness she so readily bestowed upon others. Deep inside, a question lingered in the corners of her heart; why did the love she gave to others not seem to return to her in the same measure? Was Inaya’s love not sincere or lacking in depth? Was it not genuine?

That was not true; Because she sincerely celebrated the joys of those around her, and was always ready to offer a kind word or a helping hand with a force that flowed freely from her heart.

Inaya had a close friend Sana who always made Inaya feel comfortable without any fear of judgment, hence Inaya confided her perplexedness to her. She spoke to her about her anguish, and to her surprise Sana already knew about her state as she could see the manifestation of it in her behaviors.

She told Inaya that she has been noticing:

how her laughter had become less frequent,

how her sensitivity to criticism heightened,

how she had started struggling with feelings of unworthiness,

how she often sought external validation to affirm her worthiness,

how her self expression became limited because she feared rejection and

how she had become reluctant to prioritize her needs thinking it to be selfish on her part.

She told Inaya that on one side she is giving so much of herself and on the other side the emptiness within her seems to be growing multifold. She made her understand that despite her outward kindness, her inner world was often turbulent. She made her recognize her struggles to find inner peace and contentment.

This became a pivotal step in Inaya’s journey towards self-love. She realized that lack of self-love was taking its toll on her. She had given so much and had poured her heart into the lives of others, and had unwittingly created an imbalance in her life. In her quest to be a pillar of strength for those she cared about, she had inadvertently neglected the foundation of her own well-being.

She realized that she was deserving of the same love she gave so freely, and that it was okay to ask for what she needed. She seeked help from close friends and therapists and started nurturing and boosting her self-love.

She Practiced Self Compassion: She learned to be kind to herself. In moments of difficulty, she took short breaks to recharge herself, by taking a 5 minute stretch or taking deep breaths, or moments of stillness. She treated herself with the same level of compassion she offered others.

She started Setting Boundaries: She recognized her limits and stopped over committing. She learned to say a ‘NO’ when necessary and prioritized her own needs and desires. It was ok for her to decline additional responsibilities or social invitations if she needed time for herself.

She engaged in Relaxation Techniques:

Inaya embraced mindfulness and practiced activities like meditation, deep breathing, and guided imagery. These helped her stay present, reduce stress, and fostered a deeper connection with herself.

She Practiced Affirmation: Replaced self criticism with affirming statements such as,, “I am capable, I am worthy, and I am enough.” This helped rewire her thought processes and boosted her self confidence, self esteem and celebrated her worthiness.

She set Aside Me Time:

Dedicated time to activities she enjoyed, such as reading, music, writing, etc. These activities brought joy and rejuvenated her spirit, and became a form of self expression and self love.

She Expressed Her Emotions: Allowed herself to feel, and express her emotions without any judgements. Whether it is joy, sadness, or anger, she acknowledged them and validated her feelings.

She Nourished Her Body: Beyond physical health routines, Inaya paid attentionto nourishing meals, staying hydrated, getting ample sleep and engaging in activities that made her feel strong and vibrant.

Practiced Gratitude Journaling: Regularly jotted down things she was grateful for. This shifted her focus towards positivity and accomplishments.

She Seeked Support and Connection:

She understood that seeking help is a sign of strength and self-care and did not hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or professionals.

She Limited Her Exposure to Negative Influences:

She minimized contact with people, environments, or media that brought negativity or drained her energy and consciously chose to spend time with people who uplifted and supported her.

She Learned to Forgive Herself: She understood that self-forgiveness was a vital part of self-love and personal growth, and hence let go of her past mistakes.

She Celebrated her achievements: Both small and big achievements and took pride in her efforts and acknowledged her progress. This reinforced her self worth and reminded her of her capabilities.

The above 12 practices helped Inaya transform her relationship with herself. Each step she took was a testament to her commitment to nurturing and boosting her self-love, creating a foundation of strength and resilience that would sustain her for a lifetime.

It was a lesson she carried forward, a beacon of light for others who, like her, were learning to navigate the intricate dance of giving and receiving love.

The love story with your own self is everlasting and you grow through love, so grows your joy, ever more present and ever more constant. Self love is a vehicle that leads to a ‘Journey To You’ and leads to a broader version of you. Stop worrying what other people think, because people who genuinely love you for who you are will also love your growth.

Let’s wake up with Love each day, Love for Life, Love for others, and most importantly Love for ourselves!

View and read the article on the Women’s Web, link👇

The Everlasting Love Story: A Journey To You

Blessing poured to infinity

“Blessing poured to infinity” is not a mere phrase; it encapsulates the profound truth that blessings are boundless and ever-flowing.

The blessings that poured over me were, performing of Ashara Mubaraka with Moula (53rd Dai al-Mutlaq Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin TUS), and Zyarat of Najafe Ashraf and Karbala.

Ashara Mubarak holds immense significance for us, the Dawoodi Bohra community, as it marks the commemoration of the martyrdom of Imam Husain(AS) the grandson of Prophet Muhammad(SAW), and his devoted followers in the Battle of Karbala.

Performing Ashara Mubarak with Moula(TUS) is highly anticipated for the whole year by us and the chance to perform the same in the holy cities of Najafe Ashraf and Karbala is a privilege that has left an indelible impact on my heart and soul. I felt I was not given what I deserved, but much more. The feelings are so overwhelming that I lack the right words to express my deep gratitude and blessings. With a bow of gratitude and with kasoor I would like to pen down my feelings and experiences.

The atmosphere during Ashara Mubarak is always charged with spirituality, and when performed with Moula(TUS) bestowed infinite blessings and Barakat. We were immersed in an environment that radiated devotion and reverence, and unparalleled spiritual connectivity.

It is a remarkable experience, wherein the daily sermons and discourses delivered by our Moula (TUS) inspire and guide community members, renew our faith, and foster our spiritual growth leading towards a closer relationship with Allah, Prophet Mohammed, and the Ahlul Bayt.

Moula’s(TUS) sermons during Ashara are highly anticipated because they provide spiritual insights and practical guidance for everyday life. His teachings are deeply rooted in Islamic principles and the specific beliefs and practices of the Dawoodi Bohra faith, such as:
Importance of daily prayer.
Recitation of the Quran.
Leading a pious and righteous life.
The significance of loving and respecting Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and the Ahlul Bayt, and following examples set by them.
Importance of seeking knowledge in both religious and secular fields. Encouraging us to excel in education and contribute positively to society.
The importance of unity and brotherhood within the Dawoodi Bohra community.

Supporting and caring for one another and working together for the common good.
To place great importance on charity and helping those in need. Moula has initiated various charitable projects and encourages us to be compassionate and generous towards others.
Safeguard, preserve, and adhere to religious rituals and customs.
Practice environmental stewardship through sustainable practices to safeguard the planet for future generations.
And Much More!

A vast gathering of like-minded believers all seeking divine blessings and guidance, their collective prayers and devotion fostered an atmosphere of unity and solidarity. Being present at Najafe Ashraf and Karbala during Ashara Mubarak and listening to Moula’s (TUS) fervent and heart-rendering bayan on the tragic events of Karbala prompted deep reflections on the immense sacrifice made by Imam Husain(AS) and Ahlul Bayt, and recounted with powerful imagery of the torment, tyranny, cruelty, and atrocities that Imam Hussain(AS), his Ahlul Bayt and As-haab endured. The entire majlis would get moved to a downpour of unstoppable tears as if that very suffering was transpiring right in front of their very eyes.
On the final day of Ashara Mubaraka, Aashura, the day awaited for the entire year by us, moula elevated on the takht-e-imaami before us, sitting on the haseer (a mere carpet), garbed in shrouds of huzn and grief, doing iltija to Imam al-Zaman (AS), and praying to Allah for our well-being and salvation, and most importantly his final sajda left us overwhelmed with an endless spring of tears in our eyes and the chants of ‘Ya Hussain’ upon the lips of all of us.
Moula’s prayers on these sacred days left us with a feeling of an abundance of Allah’s divine mercy, and an unconditional forgiveness for our sins.
We seek taufeeq from Allah to fulfill our Moula’s(TUS) wish to keep the flames of the love of Imam Hussain(AS) ignited in our hearts till our last breath.

It was a transformative journey and may the blessings received continue to guide and inspire us on this journey of striving to bring positive changes in our lives as our Moula (TUS) wishes and become compassionate, empathetic, and devoted individuals.

Substance Abuse and the Growing Child

https://www.womensweb.in/2023/04/substance-abuse-and-the-growing-child-why-teens-and-adolescents-end-up-using-substances-and-how-parents-can-help-prevent-this/

Why Teens and Adolescents End up Using Substances and How Parents Can Help Prevent This!

“I WANT MY SON BACK,” said the worried, broken, and powerless MOTHER!
A loving son, brother, and the most adorable, caring human of whom any mother would be proud. He was gripped in substance abuse – E-cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs. His life is at stake and this is killing me day by day. What should I do?

MY DAUGHTER – who we loved to our hearts and gave all the love and comforts she needed – has started hating us. She stays out late at night and comes home drunk…..Where did I go wrong?

MY SON- my 22-year-old son died of a drug overdose. He just finished his PG and was about to start his life. Why did this happen to me?

And Many More!

These just scratch the surface of the rising cases of youth in India who are in use of psychotropic substances/psychoactive substances, including alcohol, nicotine, and drugs.
Substance use in teens and adolescents ranges from experimentation to severe addiction leading to substance use disorder. The child is put at risk of fights, accidents, sexual abuse, and overdose.
Substances when consumed affect the working of the brain and alter mood, thinking, reasoning, awareness, and insight. A new study says – adolescents into substance use are at risk of dying prematurely 5% more than their peers. Studies say that 90% of the consumption is from the young clan, as early as 13 years of age.

Surprising, isn’t it?

Substance abuse drowns our children into a black hole and distorts their vision. They lose perspective and forget what they are and what they are capable of. And, in this darkness – Effective Parenting Becomes Not Only Tough But Next To Impossible.

Let us not wait till it gets worse. Parents of middle and high school children should understand that it is not only the child’s problem but a parent’s problem as well! Research consistently proves that parents have the greatest influence on their child’s substance use behaviors and that only they can positively impact their child’s substance use decisions and choices.

Read on to know some very simple Parental Supervision And Preventive Measures that can help prevent substance use in teens and adolescent children.

Monitoring his media exposure (TV viewing, Internet, music, etc)
It is estimated that children between 6 to 12 years spend an average of 6 hours a day on social media – 6 long hours just looking at their phones and ipads. No wonder the child is apt to become anxious and worried and develop low self-esteem and a feeling of inadequacy. Their mental health is at stake. To help them cope, all chances of them turning to alcohol and drugs.
One study found that teens who use social media are more likely to use tobacco, alcohol, and marijuana than their peers who don’t. Reason? Social media glamorizes alcohol and drugs. Alcohol on Instagram and Facebook is always shown in a positive social context and children develop FOMO (fear of missing out)

Our role as a parent is:
Limit their social media usage
Practice open communication – a conversation eye to eye, with emotions, explaining why they are given a certain amount of time online and hearing from them their experiences Listening can go long way in understanding what they are struggling with
Guide them to disconnect from devices and have regular human interactions
Address problems early

Imposing a curfew – Monitor the child’s whereabouts

Setting curfews is enduring that the child returns home safely at an appropriate time. Getting home late can make the child late for school/other important commitments the next day. This will help them:
Learn to be responsible about the time and places they visit
Help them shoulder responsibilities as they grow
Will help them into a smooth transition to adulthood.
When positive habits are reinforced in a child and the child’s whereabouts are monitored by parents, it helps mitigate the risks for your child.
Children, especially teenagers love spending time with their peers and therefore a curfew could be rejected and authority challenged. See to it that you maintain flexibility, converse with them, include them in your decision-making, allow them to share their thoughts, and find time to do it together.

Establish and Enforce healthy expectations from their child
Every parent wants a perfect child and not all children are born naturally perfect. Maybe the child is not fitting your expectations of a perfect child, however, this should not be communicated to the child in any manner – verbally, emotionally, or through your behaviors. If you have unrealistic expectations, the child loses his identity and will internally crave to be accepted by you. The inner conflicts and strife may result in the child hanging out with cool kids or other wrong companions and getting into substance use.

Make talking about substances a part of your general health and safety conversation
Bring awareness and educate them about the dangers of substance abuse by having conversations early in the child’s life. Cultivate a connection with your child. Regularly have meals with them. Research says that parents who have meals with their children just 6 or more times a week decrease the child’s risk of having alcohol by 50%. When you create a supportive and nurturing environment for the child, children make better decisions.

Understand Peer Pressure and Experimental curiosity
Teens and adolescents are biologically wired for adventure or /experimentation in life. This can become one of the main causes of them being attracted to trying vaping, alcohol, drugs, or other substances. This can start as early as 13 years of age and leads to hampering their physical, psychological, and social growth. Seeking thrills and taking risks are the normal developmental need of an adolescent. Peer pressures and Role models(such as celebrities) are the strongest risk factor for an adolescent child.
By not consuming alcohol or tobacco or drugs
Having an open relationship with the child
Always being there for the child
Talking honestly and openly about the risks of substance use to the child
If you have not educated him about the dangers of having these substances the child might see no harm in having them.

Last And Not The Least – Avoid Delaying
Immediately take appropriate action to protect your child, when you see that something is just not right. If you notice any warning signs:
Like missing classes or skipping school
A change in peer group
A decline in academic performance
Change in eating and sleeping habits
Poor hygiene
Mood swings and instability
Loss of interest in hobbies
Unexplained guilt
Indifference to relationships with family members and friends
Sores in the mouth, on the lips or both

Final thought, “There is no such thing as a Perfect Parent. Just be a real one” Sue Atkins

The CAN in the CANCER saying ‘we can beat it’.

Cancer survivors have something way bigger than their Treatments, Medications, and Care to get back to their feet – and that is their SUPER POWER!

This is the story of Shabbir Tinwala from Mumbai, India who showed indomitable courage, hope, faith, mental toughness, and positivity, and saw the CAN in the CANCER saying ‘we can beat it’. When he saw that the tide was against him, he chose to live and thrive and not just exist and survive. 

51yrs old Shabbir, a busy man, living happily with his wife and 2 daughters, suddenly found a lump behind his ears. This was initially thought of as inflammation due to a cold and was later diagnosed as malignant. It was Follicular Lymphoma, a type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL) – a slow-growing blood cancer. 

What was his immediate reaction when he heard this?

It was like a streak of lightning out of the blow and he had never ever thought that this could happen to him. Though he had gone alone to the doc, fully prepared for the worst, and ready to fight it out, his first thought was of his wife and 2 daughters at that time. He did not want his family to have to live their lives without him, and that became his biggest motivating factor. 

Diagnosing was just the beginning, post that came, a flurry of appointments, diagnostic tests, and various treatment options. He was scheduled for 6 cycles of chemos. Along with every cycle of the aggressive treatment came nasty side effects, like nausea and severe fatigue, hair fall all over the body, constipation, severe stomach aches, and stiffening of jaws. This sounds like a war, but he was prepared for it. He was aware that the wind of change has started blowing and if he wants to live and thrive he will have to build windmills and not a wall. He had decided in his mind that after each cycle of chemo, within 10 days the side effects would subside and then he has to carry on with his life. He exactly did that. 

As soon as his 6 cycles of chemo were done (with PET scans in between), within a month he took permission from the doc and the whole family went on a pilgrimage to Karbala and Umrah for 3 weeks. His body was still weak, but he believed that tenacity is vital to blossom in life, and he maintained that to fulfill his goal and his responsibility of keeping his family happy. 

After a year, he was diagnosed with hip arthritis. De compression operation was done, rest for 2 months and he gained back only 25% of his mobility back. He started walking with a stick.

Cancer relapsed after 4 years and 4 cycles of chemo were scheduled. He kept listening to his body and kept fighting. It relapsed 2 more times after that and he was treated with chemo and immunotherapy. In the year 2020, his whole family suffered COVID and a year back he had undergone a cystoscopy.

It sounds like 13 years of war, but he had taken a stand to not give in and kept believing that every tomorrow is better than today. 

He faced all his obstacles head-on.

Prayed consistently(for 2.5 hours every day) and had supreme faith in the Almighty. After every namaz, his only prayer would be to grant him strength. 

He recommends listening to the doctor’s advice and completing the prescribed treatments – he is thankful to his doctor, Dr.Tapan Saikia who combined treatment with an excellent interpersonal relationship.

What helped him?

His wife was his pillar of strength and dedicated her life to him.

His late mother’s love and his 2 daughters took up the responsibilities of his shop and his factory.

His brother, his sister, and his group of school and college friends who he says were amazing and kept up the flame of hope burning in him that kept pushing him.

His attitude of finding rainbows after every alleged darkness – during these 13 years he defied all odds and traveled the length and breadth of the world to countries like –  Austria, the UK, Italy, Hongkong, Saudi Arabia, Kenya, Serbia, and Yamen.

His superpower of filling his days with micro joys – learned cross-stitch embroidery during his days at home from his wife and this was his way to mental fitness. 

His belief is that in giving we receive – the cross stitch panels were sold and the money was used for charity.

His habit of reading and diligently attending to his shop and factory responsibilities against all odds.

His attitude of practicing gratitude – always thankful to the almighty for the successful treatments, for the financial affordability, for a loving and caring family, and finally for giving him time to streamline his work, assets, and finance to make it easy for his family in the future.

His advice and learnings:

Keep your work streamlined and maintain financial and investment planning transparency with your spouse and children.

Practice mental toughness, i.e. whenever you find yourself standing in a storm, change the direction of the sails and move on.

Life is short and therefore, do not carry a baggage of negative emotions like hate, anger, and jealousy.

Do not escape from your individual responsibilities in life and make that your true purpose of life.

He is now 63 years old, physically fragile, walks with a stick, is still swarming with positivity, is filled with unshaken faith and hope, and is 3 years NED (no evidence of disease). 

We salute him, pray and wish him a healthy and smooth life. 

Shehrebanu K

BATTLE WON AGAINST BRAIN STROKE Behind every strong person is a story that gives them two choices: SINK or SWIM!

Sharath Srinivasan a Brain Stroke survivor chose to SWIM. This story is about him experiencing the days and minutes of his life after the stroke, and how he stayed strong to stay far away from falling off the cliff of death.

Sharath was blessed to have humble beginnings in a nuclear family with both parents and a sister. He was an active student both in his school and college days and participated in all extracurricular activities. He wrote his GMRIT and got selected for Polaris. Later he wrote his GMAT and completed his MBA in London and also completed certification of SAP FICO. He joined Infosys in the year 2014. Within 6 months of joining, he got promoted and this added fuel to his workaholism. He felt a compulsive need to work excessively and worked for 14 to 16 hours just to prove his worth. On the 12th of July 2015, Sharath’s struggle began.

On 12 July 2015, Sharath reached Mumbai from Hyderabad and was giving a presentation to the client, during which he started feeling a little uneasy and asked his colleague to continue. He tried to sit down and he realized that he was almost losing his muscle control. He fell on his colleague and people around gathered and took him to the nearest first aid center where his BP had shot to 190/110. Within 12 min he was taken to Fortis hospital, Vashi Mumbai. An MRI and CT scan revealed that he had suffered a hemorrhagic stroke, brain damage caused by a rupture of a blood vessel that leads to bleeding in the brain.
Sharath was given anesthesia and it took five hours for him to regain consciousness.
When he woke up from the trauma, he could not speak, his vision was blurred, he could not sit, stand or walk, no bladder or bowel control, and the right side of his body was paralyzed. His emotions were the lowest, he felt desolate, despondent, sad, and stuck. The feelings of hopelessness and despair made him feel that there was no point in living and he cried inconsolably.

So what was it that helped him reverse these feelings and overcome the challenges that life threw at him? He says it was the support and motivation that came from his parents. The success stories of Arunima Sinha (the first female amputee to climb mount Everest) and the comeback stories of Yuvraj Singh greatly inspired him to hit back to life. From Yuvraj Singh, the power of gratitude, from Arunima the power of determination to fight against all odds and make a mark for oneself. Thirdly it was the practice of vipassana, which helped him walk the path of self-transformation.

Let’s talk about his jaw-dropping determination and his incredible achievements in the face of obstacles. Sharath was endowed with a special spirit and he decided to not let anything take him away from what he loved – HIS WORK. He gave himself 6 months to bounce back to a state where he could resume work.
He started setting reasonable and incremental goals that not only helped him create progress in his condition but also boosted his confidence which resulted in decreasing the intensity of his hopelessness. He slowly began taking on daily tasks – bathing, sitting, eating with his left hand, and started learning basic alphabets and numbers. He was a right-handed person and imagine at age of 28 learned to be left-handed. Even though our brain is an amazing organ that changes to promote recovery of functions after a stroke, it is absolutely hard work that takes a lot of repetition to rewire the brain. Sharath remained strong, he kept targets in everything, whether it was dressing up, traveling, playing, eating by himself, his physio sessions, yoga classes, speech therapy, etc. he started celebrating his small success and realized that he was getting more and more reasons to celebrate life with each passing day. He never forgot to be grateful for the little feats and this positively correlated to more vitality, energy, and enthusiasm to keep him moving in life.
What helped him and is still helping him get great results are, MRM, Yoga, Vipassana, NLP, ICE, accelerated Mindset, and Mental wellness techniques.

He proved the quote, “Tiny tweaks lead to big changes” by Amy Cuddy.
He demonstrated that a positive mindset can do wonders.
He authenticated that loving oneself is the most important gift you can give to yourself.
He substantiated the benefits and power of meditation, yoga, and affirmations.
He expressed gratitude not by uttering words but by living by them.
He showed strength by not surrendering to his hardships.

Sharath ran the 5k Marathon in 2018
He got promoted to principal Consultant in the year 2019
In 2022 he acquired a certification in NLP and became a Super Coach.
In the same year, he penned a book, “DARE TO DREAM’ which is available on Amazon and Flipkart.

Unlike many stroke survivors, Sharath has made an almost full recovery, with no lasting physical or mental damage. He credits the timely diagnosis and care he received at the hospital. Major credit to his family, his parents who were always there to motivate and encourage him to overcome all difficulties during his journey to recovery.


We wish Sharath all the best along each step of his journey!

“Go after your dreams Sharath – May you get all the success and happiness you deserve!”

The Tradition of Seeking Knowledge Continues with the Dawoodi Bohra’s

“Anyone who stops learning is old whether, at 20 or 80, Anyone who keeps learning stays young”
In this constantly changing world, if we want to stay ahead of the curve, we need to become lifelong learners.
Learning is urged in the Holy Quran wherein every Muslim – man/woman is advised to think, ponder, reflect and acquire knowledge and keep getting closer to Allah. The Prophet Mohammed saw commanded knowledge upon all Muslims and counseled, that the purpose of learning or education in Islam is associated with balancing one’s physical and spiritual development.

The Dawoodi Bohra community’s
‘Al-Istifada al-Ilmiyya’ an educational event, marks the season of learning and growth. Thousands and thousands of multi-aged learning community members from all across the globe travel to Surat in the month of Rabi ul Aakhar for this event. The event is hosted by His Holiness Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin tus,
53rd al-Dai al-Mutlaq and Leader of the Dawoodi Bohra Community.
His Holiness states, ‘Education is one of the most important obligations upon humankind, and no matter the effort expended in its pursuit, it can never be considered sufficient”.

Each and every taalib-ul-‘ilm’s (seekers of knowledge) learning goals are pre-set. Everyone is engaged and dedicated to continuous learning, and the entire environment values, facilitate, encourages, and supports learning.
The best part of this huge event is to develop a ‘Growth mindset’, to set a belief that you can always grow as an individual. With a growth mindset, we readily accept the fact that learning is a lifelong pursuit and there’s always potential to improve. This year, as every year, the Dawoodi Bohra men and women of different ages and backgrounds attended this educational event. The participants included homemakers, students, businessmen and businesswomen, prominent professionals, people who have sought higher education in a variety of disciplines, and educators.

The asbaaq or lessons taught by qualified scholars were divided into groups depending upon the level of the texts being taught. The course of lectures were from books of Fatemi theology, philosophy, and also Quranic interpretation. The session lasted from morning to lunchtime with breaks for tea and lunch.
Istefadaa ilmiya reached its climax on the day of the 112th birth anniversary of the 52nd Daʿi His Holiness Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin (ra). His Holiness Syedna Ali Qadar Mufaddal Saifuddin tus delivered a sermon that was again attended by tens of thousands of Dawoodi Bohra’s.

Fatemi texts mentions that to live a meaningful, accomplished, goal-directed, and intentional life, one must put to practice what is learnt right from the cradle to grave. His holiness teaches that the purpose and essence of education is to benefit one’s fellow humans.
With this azam or pledge to become better human beings, the talabul ilm or the knowledge seekers departed back home filled with gratitude and contentment.

Drown out Test Anxiety – Study anxiety

Every student experiences some form of anxiety or panic during their student life and this is likely to occur more during exam time. Study/Test anxiety primarily de motivates and corrodes confidence. Roger Mead, stress management consultant and the general secretary of the International Stress Management Association, agrees, “Up to a point, pressure improves our performance. But as it increases a bit more, it reduces our effectiveness. Handling it well is about recognizing that point.”

Study anxiety makes it difficult for you to concentrate on a range of tasks such as reading, writing, or listening. Repetitive and intrusive thoughts occur and make it hard for you to think clearly and you may notice symptoms such as muscle tension, headache, shallow breathing, heart palpitations and nausea. These symptoms in turn inhibit your thought process and stop you from doing what you want. As Roger says that anxiety to some extent will help you remain focused and productive but once it crosses a limit then maintaining motivation becomes difficult.

You will have to understand, make a conscious choice and take control to let go your anxieties and stresses. A few strategies are mentioned below to do the same but then these techniques will work best only if you deliberately practice them.

• What is anxiety? It is worrying for no cause, therefore stop worrying and feeding in negative thoughts and instead focus on what it is you have to do. Think rationally and avoid panicky or negative self-statements such as, “I cannot cope with the tough competition” or “I will again under perform as I have done earlier”
• Every successful performance demands a little bit of tenseness, it can be an ally and a reminder to cope. The moment you start worrying, just self counsel yourself, take a slow deep breath and relax. You can’t eliminate fear totally, but then you can reason your fear away. Focus on the present and understand what has to be done on the present and this can help you effectively manage fear.
• Later, you can reinforce self statements such as ‘you could triumph over fear and you are learning to cope more smoothly’. Keep asserting yourself that you can handle anxiety or stress and are pleased with your progress.
• The above technique can be complimented with some breathing techniques. This may sound simple and maybe you’ve heard before but then still it works. 85% of all anxiety responses can be controlled through breath control. Anxiety leads to shallow breathing and this in turn leaves the brain to oxygen starvation and therefore you have to fill up your lungs slowly, deeply from bottom to top and then exhale slowly and relax. Try to incorporate deep breathing as your normal breathing and this will be loved by your brain and memory.
• Do away with ‘rush sickness’ and deliberately slow down your movements in anxious situations, slow down thinking, writing and reading. This when coupled with controlled breathing will help you regain your physical and mental control. It will decrease your anxiety levels and help you study better and keep your studied memories alive during tests.
• Exercising and simple breathing relaxation technique’s has proven to be effective in heightening concentration levels and performance, hence add it in your daily schedule and get an extra boost of energy and liveliness.
• All this cannot be supplemented for a poor preparation or realistic goals. Under-preparedness is a key reason for study and test anxiety and one has to plan his studies, follow a daily study schedule and avoid last minute test preparations. Whenever you set goals, put them in writing and this will keep you committed and help you keep sight of them in the shuffle of daily activity. Remember that a goal is not a goal if you do not set a deadline for its accomplishment. Therefore, let all your goals have a target date and see that they are challenging as this will keep you motivated and hold your interest level.
• When you sit to study see that your approach is one with a positive attitude and is full of interest. It is understood that it is impossible to be interested in all subjects but then you cannot memorize and store the matter as long term memory if you study without interest. When dealing with subjects of less interest, you should consciously counsel yourself that I cannot escape studying this and therefore I shall try and develop interest in it. It is likely that your concentration span may decrease for it, therefore cut study times into shorter sessions for that subject. Say for example for a two hour session (which can drain you if you are not interested) you can split it into four sessions of forty minutes each. This leads to less anxiety and stress and allows the brain to grow dendrites needed for learning.
• Every individual has a biological clock in his body and therefore some are more productive when they study in late night, some in the early morning. Study in your peak concentration hours.
• Develop time management skills to help meet deadlines and stay motivated. Balance study, tuition and recreation hours as it should be and this can be done by following a daily schedule.
• Avoid stressful people. Stress is contagious, so resist the urge to have a study session with your apprehensive friends before an exam, especially if they are complaining about all the work they have left to do and pulling their hair out. Their stress will only add to your stress and make you doubt yourself.
• Do not allow past negatives to nag you nor have any thoughts of “what ifs.” These will only build up more anxiety and inhibit your natural gift to learn and also decrease your ability to retain and recollect what you’ve learnt.

I once again stress the fact that only through conscious practice will you be able to overcome feelings of panic and anxiety and avoid diminishing your brain’s capability to use stored memory and its thinking power. Consciously working for a dream demands the dream to be powerful, strong and compelling. Such a dream will drown out all your anxieties and stress and will help you live in the ‘NOW’ moment, enjoying each moment of your journey moving from one challenge to the other. All the best!!